The Theorem of Underlying Blogging Probability

     After watching the Fault in Our Stars, I realized that was the only John Green book I had read, so I decided to move on to An Abundance of Katherines. I really identified with Colin Singleton. Always dumped and full of information. Worried that I would never become that "genius" expected of  Gifted kids in my school. Wondering if I will be remembered or even happy.
     After reading it, I was elated. Colin's journey was one of those self-revealing epics for me. A book that examines someone's life, and through that, makes you examine your own life. And Colin's longing to feel love is something I could also greatly identify with.
     I'm not ashamed to admit that I took pen to paper and worked on the Theorem myself. I have been for several days, and have done quite a few relationships. Call me a geek, but it's actually fun! I may post a result later.
     I don't have much uplifting advice, honestly I'm in need of it myself. If anyone wants to talk to me, for advice, dating or anything, email me at steamandfirepublish@gmail.com
     Au bientot readers!
                                               Zach

The Fault in Our Stars

     I went to see The Fault in Our Stars yesterday, and I have to say it tore me apart. The book was amazing and sad enough, but the looks on Gus, Hazel, and Isaac's faces at points in the movie... MY HEART IS HURTING! THE FEELS!
     Again, I don't have much time to write, sneaking out to check on things. My grandparents went behind my back and spent 3000 dollars on legal help to get custody of me. They didn't ask. They're just like my mom, so I don't want them to have custody. When I was with them before, they weren't my legal guardians, so they couldn't treat me like her. I don't want them to have the chance.
     But back to TFIOS. I, myself, am just like Hazel. I always wonder what happens after the last sentence. I want to know how Hazel coped, how Isaac went on. I want to know they didn't fade back into Oblivion. I'm scared stiff of that myself. I don't want to have nothing there after I die...
     Anyway, I hope to be back on soon. I love you my dear readers. Stay strong! Okay?

Sorry For the Absence

     Readers, you know I got kicked out. You also know my mom is a crazy bitch. She called the cops on me last sunday and forced me to come home. I can't post often right now. I love you all, please stay strong. Thank you.

P.S. Who Loves Me?

     Today is just one of those days, you know? It's rainy and everyone is posting pictures of themselves with their boyfriends. It sort of makes me sick. So I thought I'd just vent a little today, then talk about a way to deal with it. I should probably take my own advice on this one, too!
     Living in a small town like Blairsville has put a little dent in my dating life. There are a few other gay men here, but none of them interested in me. So, I turned to the Internet. I still cannot find anyone interested in me who is eligible to date. I don't think I'm too terrible looking. All I want is someone to love me. Someone to hold me and let me know I am loved for once. Someone who will look at me and say proudly: "See him? He's mine!"
     And that brings me to my post today. I don't necessarily follow this, but I've been told I should. While having a boyfriend is nice, it's not necessary. With me personally, not being able to find someone who wants to date me makes me feel ugly. Not to mention rather alone. Don't let that get you down. The fact that you and I haven't found anyone yet doesn't mean we look bad. It just means we haven't found someone who knows what they want out of life.
     If being single gets you down occasionally, just remember that you have friends to talk to. And push come to shove, you have me. You readers know you can email me whenever you want and I will respond as soon as possible! I will always be here to talk.
     Au bientot, my dear readers. I leave you with a picture of one of my favorite actors: Jensen Ackles. He plays Dean on Supernatural! It should make anyone smile!

The Apple of the Eye of Adversity

     Hello readers! My high school does this thing once a year called the Ulympics. It's basically a school-wide competition between the four grades. It encompasses academic, disciplinary, and athletic competitions. The grade with the most points in the end gets class of the year. It's not much, just bragging rights. Stop judging!!!
     A friend and I were selected to do the English portion of the academic competition for our grade. May I just say: We may just be Juniors, but we're damn good writers! I was pumped before hand, and writing the essay was so fun! I know, my geek is showing. But literature is amazing!
     So, after the Seniors inevitably won, I was still pretty pumped. A large amount of tea and a kicking pep rally would get anyone's adrenaline flowing! This good mood went spiraling down rather fast. Now, as you may know, I am gay. For some reason, people think this is reason enough to make fun of me.
     I was walking out of the gym, minding my own business, when I passed a group of guys. I was still relatively close to them when I heard: "Yea, let him pass. We don't want  him behind us!"
     Now, first off, I have never seen these guys. Nor do I know any of their friends. But being gay in a small town makes me a gossip subject, so they "knew" me. They all laughed and proceeded to make gay jokes until they arrived at their class. By then, my self-image and pumped mood were going down the drain.
     I would love to know what goes through their heads. What makes them think that making fun of me is worth-while? Are they paid per burn? Compensated for using their very lightly used brains?
     Anyway, I wanted to talk about how people make you feel today. I will be the first to admit I need help at this. And let me be frank about this: I'm not perfect. I need to take my own advice very often. So I'm not preaching. But, honestly, screw what others think of you. You don't go home with them. And if you do, then they aren't really the person you should be going home with. It took me 17 years to realize that about my mother.
     Be happy with yourself, no matter weight, sexuality, style, race, or anything else that makes you a unique and beautiful person.  And also, if the shit people throw at you gets to be too much, talk to someone. I'm going to try to start up a facebook page with information on a chat service for the blog readers. I don't really know where it will lead, but I think it would be nice if the readers, myself, and anyone could talk to people who don't  judge. To have a safe environment to chat. Even chat anonymously. If anyone has any ideas, let me know!
     As always, feel free to contact me, I'll get back as soon as possible. Have a pleasant night readers! Au bientot!

Oh, and here is a picture of me with my two best girlfriends. These girls are so nice!

Cabin Fever

     So... that remedied living situation... it had a relapse. I am now living with my grandparents full-time. This is a little difficult. My "room" is a loft. This loft is so low I cannot even sit up straight without hitting my head. And the cabin itself is 408 square feet. That is not a lot.
     The catalyst to this event was, as usual, my mother. She informed me I could either work at McDonald's (forcibly, I might add) or get my ass out of her house. It's not that I'm opposed to McDonald's or working at all. It's just the fact I had no choice in the matter. And I do not want to work in fast food, I think it's abasing. No offense to anyone who works in the industry. Just my viewpoint.
     As I was preparing to leave, she informed me that I couldn't take any of my clothes, because she bought them with her money. So, as she went out on the front porch on the second story, I went down to my room on the first story. We live in a townhouse, so reverse the scheme of a normal house. I put several shirts, my jeans, toiletries, my tux, and some sentimental items in a bag and dropped them out onto the back porch of the first story. Bite me bitch. I'm clever!
      So, now I blog from a new home. I shall have ample free time now. Feel free to respond and just get to know me! Au bientot, readers!

Don't Stop!!!

     So, in the midst of my slightly stressful housing situation (remedied, if you care to know!), I turned to music for comfort. And here, I want to plug my bands!
     When I'm down, nothing picks me up like the combined awesomeness of R5 and 5SOS. If you haven't heard these bands sing, you need to. Old people will tell you all songs are about sex and drugs these days. I will agree, but it's some damn good music, isn't it? But these two bands don't focus on that. It's more feel good music. And that's why I quite literally owe my life to these bands. When I'm having urges, nothing pulls me up like listening to "She Looks So Perfect" and "Loud."
     In the event that they end up reading this: Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Michael, thank you so much, I love you guys!!! And Riker, Rydel, Ross, Rocky, Ratliff, and Ryland, you guys have helped me smile countless times! Love you too!
     Now, to the main point of this post. Find something that makes you feel good! It will almost always help you. And I've found it's better if said activity doesn't involve other people. Check out these bands, or any other kind of music that can make you smile, or read. Do something to make you feel better. I'm in a good mood today, can you tell?
     My dear readers, au bientot! I know you all are strong, so stay that way!